Peace on Earth

Okay! Enough! I must pry my eyes off of The Operation Beautiful Book and tell you a story because I am officially – crying touched… I did not think it was possible but I might love Caitlin’s book more than I love her blog!


Operation Beautiful is a movement that is close to my heart. I have only read through page 17 but that page featured a post-it that described the life I am running away from.

The note read:

“Don’t be a copy of someone else – be an original of yourself”.

Do you remember the show Nip/Tuck? Ever watch an episode?

It is was a good’ol trashy FX series where the main characters are male plastic surgeons who lead wealthy abstract lives. Anyways – The point is their introduction theme song lyrics were:

Make me beautiful.

A perfect soul.

A perfect mind.

A perfect face.

A perfect lie.

Every episode the first question the doctors would ask their patience in the consultation is “So, tell me what is it that you don’t like about yourself”.

The doctors job was to make these people b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. (believe me it WASN’T just women either!) Many of them saw it as finally being perfect. The show was clearly for a “mature audience” and far fetched but it did influence my perception of reality as did magazines and gossip sites.

I admired this illusion of obtainable perfection. I felt my hair wasn’t blonde enough, my breast hadn’t developed enough, I wasn’t popular enough or thin enough. I simply just didn’t feel like I was ever enough… The fact was I wanted to change EVERYTHING about my self, even my stubby baby toe and the tiny freckle between by eye brows. Eye-rolling

I wanted people to see me and see someone that was attractive.

I wanted others to be envious.

I wanted to be beautiful.

I wanted to be flaw less.

Most of all I wanted to change the way I felt about myself.Embarrassed

The odd thing is I was never really made fun of and I had great friends. I just didn’t get the attention that the other girls did or at least the attention I wanted needed. My mother was always very sensitive to my emotions but she truly just did not understand what I was experiencing. The trademark reply was – “stop it, you know your beautiful, smart…”. On top of that she raised us to be extremely giving. She reminded us to treat elders with respect, yet never focused on respecting our bodies. She reminded us to be kind and caring to others, but never emphasized the importance of taking care of ourselves. We were raised to put others needs before our own just as my mother always does. These are all things that I've had to seek out as an individual. Please, do not be mistaken. I don’t not blame my body image issue on my mom! The one thing she did always encourage us to do was to be comfortable in any situation. Which we all know is easier said than done! During that hormone surge I needed guidance, direction and a positive respectable role model. Unfortunately – I filled that gap with tanning beds, alcohol, poor nutrition and eventually boys. Thankfully Orlando came into my life at the perfect time.

I believe that finding our inner strength takes discipline. We have to regularly remind our selves often what our beliefs, goals and passions are in order to form the habit of expecting to achieve the lifestyle we deserve. We have reminders for EVERYTHING else, why not our own well being?

Operation Beautiful is just that, a little reminder. This amazing simple gesture genuinely adds happiness to peoples day, sometimes even the author catches the smile bug too.

Funny thing is last two notes I’ve posted I noticed were more unique than the ones I’ve left in the past. It seems that I may have written these few to myself in secret? It felt even more special leaving them because the message was actually personal. IMG_1845

As Operation Beautiful would say I’m starting to changed the way I see. The transformation doesn’t happen in a day or a week, it takes falling down and getting back up again.

Even thought I haven't reached my goals yet, I’m finally able to value exactly where I am at this very moment. I’m extremely grateful that I’ve learned how to accept I have something inside of me that is unique and worthy, now I have to set it free and embrace it. That something does have a purpose in this world, just like yours does! HappyI didn’t need to change my appearance to find a place where I was welcomed, who would have thought? I simply had to discover elements of myself that brought me joy like what defines me and my interests. Also, battling mental and physicals challenges has helped tremendously with building my confidence. It feels liberating to allow my heart to speak rather than chase someone’s shadow. Its like going a month without a diet soda and then opening the frig to a crisp cold unopened can of Diet Dr.Pepper!

I hope you enjoyed my story. It makes me extremely giddy when I find things like Operation Beautiful and Size Healthy. I know I am no longer “obese” but I grew up the fat kid who became the chubby teenager who blossomed into an obese young adult.

Op Beautiful is -

Women ending Fat Talk -

Sort of like Gays fighting for Equality – or -

Marijuana smokers rising up against the FDA.



Jenn @ healthyhoofbeats said...

Found this blog through HTP and wanted to say how inpsiring and well written that post was :)

Florida Food Snob said...

I appreciate your kind words. ;-)

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